Who decides if a man has worth? What if a man has done good things and bad things in his life?

The question of Worth is an important one, as we'll explore a little bit below.

First, the important thing to remember...is that the past is the past. It has already happened...and cannot be changed or erased. It is alreadly "in the well," or already "part of the tapestry." And this is called Orlog.

It seems oversimplified to have to point out that the past is the past...but its an important point, because the Germanic mindset is to focus on the now. What are you now? What are you doing now with your life? What is your Worth right now? Your past (Orlog) plays a role in determining your Worth, but when a man has addressed past deficiencies and ill-deeds...and has changed his life for the better, this becomes important in measuring his Worth.

For instance, a man leads a bad life for years. He uses drugs, abandons his family, commits crimes, hurts people needlessly, spends time in prison, etc. This man is of little worth. He is a complete mess, and his Orlog is a tangled ugly thing. The man can't change that past. But let's say 10 years ago, the man gets out of prison, and decides to change. He joins a support group or gets counseling for his drug abuse. He gets a job. He works hard to form stable relationships. He rebuilds his family. For 10 years, he has been clean, crime-free, working hard, and building a life for his family. Well, let's look at this "changed" man from a heathen perspective.

When he was a criminal drug-addict, his deeds showed him to have little, or no worth.

When he was just getting out of prison and had decided to get clean and turn his life around, he still had little, or no worth. Even though his intentions are good...he has not put it into action yet.

When he was about 2 months into his new life, he was starting to build worth...but who in their right mind would bet that it would last? Its too recent...and there is too much damaged Orlog for 2 worthy months to wipe clean.

But 3 years, 5 years, 10 years into his new life, we can see the life he has built and maintained...and the man clearly has worth.

You can't change the past, but you can change the present. You can fix the things you have broken. You can make right the things you have done wrong. You can avoid making those same mistakes again. Everyone has a chance to start over, and build a better life starting right now. But it takes a lot of work to fix damaged Orlog.

The past does not go away because you ask forgiveness. The past does not go away because you turn to the Jewish-zombie on a stick. The past does not go way because of newly-made promises, good intentions, or wishful thinking. It takes work...it takes sometimes years of right action, and deeds of worth. That is how one repairs ones Orlog, and becomes a man of Worth.

Now, who decides Worth? Heathenry is very community oriented. We do not get to decide our own individual worth. Those around us, watch us, know us, and decide our worth. Based on our deeds, they judge our worth.

The people we interact with at work...they measure our worth at work. They know if they can count on us. They know if we are dependable...whether we will be there for the long haul...whether we fix problems or cause problems.

At home, our families measure our worth. Are we providing for the family, emotionally and financially? Our families know if we are a rock...if we are nurturing...if we are dependable.

Our friends measure our worth. Do we keep our word? Are we there for them when they need us? Do we have their backs, or not?

And, within larger communities this is true as well. Over time, as one becomes a known quantity in the greater heathen community, or regionally...other heathens see one's deeds, and decide our Worth.

And that brings us to Gefrain. One's reputation. As more and more people measure a man's worth...and learn of his deeds, his Gefrain grows. Gefrain is essentially how many people know of you...and how worthy they judge you to be. Having good Gefrain can affect one's Wyrd, Luck, and other aspects of your life.


Christianity is a very Guilt based culture. Heathenry is a Shame based culture. If one's deeds do not measure up...and people know of this, they do not want to mingle Wyrd with you. They see you as an example of "what not to be," and do not want to associate with you.

So, how does this all work within a heathen kindred or tribe?

Let's say a new person approaches the kindred. We get to know them. If, for example, they have a job and work hard at it. They have a family, and care about them greatly, and provide well for them. They read about heathenry, learn, and become knowledgable. They come to kindred events, and when they commit to something...they always follow through. They are good to be around, and act with Right Good Will. They gift their friends, and show hospitality as a host....and know how to be a good guest. They have a stable life, and are working to improve their family's lot in life. If all these best-case-scenarios are in place...then over time, we come to see they have great Worth. They are a person we would want to closely mingle Wyrd with. Adding their Orlog and their Luck to the tribe's collective Orlog and Luck, would assist and grow the tribe. This is the best-case-scenario person to oath into the kindred.

But, let's take a different new person approaching our kindred. if over the time we are getting to know a person, they can't seem to keep a job, have constant drama in their life they can't seem to get a handle on, won't read the Lore and expect to be spoon-fed. Their attendance at kindred events is spotty or infrequent, and often they fall short on their commitments. They are a problematic to be around, and seem very political and divisive. They are selfish and fail to show hospitality, and are an example of a bad guest. Their life is chaos, and they seem to almost wallow in it. This is the worst-case scenario...and over time, we would conclude this person has very little Worth. They are a person we would not want to mingle Wyrd with at all, and we would push them away. Adding their Orlog and their Luck to the tribe's collective Orlog and Luck, would hurt and burden the tribe. This is the last person on earth we would oath into the kindred.

And in-between the best-case-scenario and the worst-case-scenario person, is where all other's fall. To some degree its a calculation. No one is perfect. But our tribe needs to be strong...not big in numbers. We protect our Orlog and Luck, and do not want to see it damaged or lessened. So, we carefully weigh things when we are getting to know new people. Sometimes, we conclude that someone makes a good friend...but would not be a very good oathed member of our kindred. Sometimes we tell people, come to open events...get to know us better...work on your problems, get your life together, and we'll talk about this in the future.

I bring this up, because our modern mainstream culture pushes us to accept everyone, faults and all. Often apologies are allowed to wipe clean years of misdeeds. Good intentions are judged more important than the actual consequences of our deeds. But that is a modern culture that is upside down from our Germanic heritage.

Growing heathen kindreds and tribes must look for people of Worth to add to their ranks. They will be stronger for it. They will endure better. They will get more done. Quality over Quantity. Just one person of little worth allowed into the inner circle (Innangarth) of a kindred, can cause great damage to their collective Orlog and Luck, and stifle their growth and distract them from their goals.

Mark

On March 19th, I was exercising at work...and my Achilles Tendon ruptured. It went "pop" (I actually hear the sound) as I was running, and I hit the floor, rolled up in a ball. At first, I didn't know how badly I was hurt, and continued to work for the next week. It became clear pretty quickly, that it wasn't getting better, and went to my doctor. He told me I ruptured my Achilles Tendon, and that surgery would be required. He added, "And I want you to be prepared for 2 to 3 months of immensely painful physical therapy. But you have to do the therapy, or you won't ever run or jump again."



I had a my plane tickets and everything for a week-long trip to Iceland, so after consulting with a surgeon, I scheduled my surgery for after my trip, and went to Iceland. Will and I spent a week there, walking, climbing, and seeing all the sites. I was very careful with each step, but I didn't really hold back on what we chose to visit, or do there. How many times am I going to get to go to Iceland?

Upon my return, I had the surgery...and went into a cast. I wore the cast and walked on crutches for 5 weeks. The cast had its toe pointed downwards, so that all the pressure was off the tendon. So that I could still get around in a car, I taught myself to drive with my left foot, with my injured right foot on the passenger side of the car. I worked hard practicing with my crutches, so I could be as mobile as possible. And I tried to just keep living my life, despite the cast, and crutches, and pain.



I spoke with my surgeon at one of my appointments, and asked him what percentage my tendon had ruptured? He looked at me like I was an idiot, and asked what I meant. I asked again, "Was it 10% ruptured, 50%...just how much of it ruptured?" He laughed at me, and said...it wasn't ruptured...it was completely torn. Straight through.

I asked the surgeon why my muscle hadn't crawled up inside my leg, like I had heard they do with completely torn Achilles Tendons. The surgeon said that sometimes other smaller tendons and other tissues will hold the calf muscle in place, even when the Achilles has been torn all the way...and that I was one of those lucky cases.

They cut the cast off after 5 weeks, and then I wore a cam-boot for 4 weeks. At first, I had to stay on my crutches, because my Achilles Tendon had shrunk, and was not stretched out yet. I couldn't even flatten my foot on the floor, let alone walk in a cam-boot. But over time, I took my first steps in the boot...and was able to eventually abandon the crutches altogether. With both the cast and the boot, I didn't let the injury slow me down. I went back to work on limited duty after only 2 weeks. I took my daughter to dance classes. I built a stone alter in my backyard and carved a large odin statue. I went camping several times, including a 5 night camping festival called the Heartland Pagan Festival. And, since Jennifer had to mow the lawn...I took over doing the laundry. I even walked in the Spring KC Zombiewalk for Hunger.



So, today I went for a check-up with my surgeon. He examined his repair, and poked and prodded my foot, ankle, and leg. He said the repair was very good. He was happy with how much my tendon had stretched back out so far, and he told me to stop wearing the boot, and to start walking on it. "The best exercise you can do right now, is to simply walk on it. Don't overdo it...but no more boot. I want you walking on your injured leg and getting your strength back." And he told me to come back in 4 weeks so he could check on my progress.

I asked him about Physical Therapy. I had never forgotten the warning the doctor had given me that I would need to do 2 to 3 months of "immensely painful" physical therapy. The surgeon said it wasn't time for physical therapy yet. So I asked him, "At my appointment in 4 weeks...is that when you'll start me on the Physical Therapy?" The surgeon said that I might not need physical therapy. The repair had taken very well, I was healing fine, and the tendon was stretching out on its own...and that he might just assign me some stretching exercises to do at home. "You might not need physical therapy."

So, at this point...I'm thrilled to be walking on my repaired leg again without a cast or boot. My leg is very weak, so I walk with a pronounce limp...but hey...its my first day out of the boot! I drove with my right foot for the first time today, in 9 weeks. Actually, I kind of sucked at it...and feel more comfortable driving with my left (though I'm sure I'll transition back to right-foot driving fairly quickly). And while nothing is certain, I'm holding out hope that I will completely avoid the "immensely painful" physical therapy altogether. Time will tell.



Mark Ludwig Stinson

We can all agree that our children are our most important treasure. We would protect them at all costs. We would destroy anyone that would threaten them. They are our future. And we wish to pass good Orlog to them...so their lives can be Lucky and of Worth.

Well, did you realize that one of the most destructive things that can happen to a child is divorce? Our choices about marriage and relationships, can either benefit our children...or threaten them with dire consequences. It turns out that, we as parents, if we don't work hard at our marriages, can be one of the most destructive forces in our children's lives. And like many threats, we're the only ones that can protect them from this threat.

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So, when things get a little rough in a marriage, and your mind wanders to the idea of "escaping" from it through divorce, think about who is threatening your kids' welfare now? Who's going to protect your kids from your decision-making?

Also consider the Oath that you took, when you chose your spouse. You took an oath to that person, and many times you took that oath in front of family and friends. Is this oath any less important than the oaths we take on our oath rings? Is this oath, if broken any less damaging to our own Luck and Wyrd? Is this oath if broken, any less damaging to our heathen communities, our kindreds, our tribes? No, clearly its one of the most important oaths that we take.

But some will say that a "bad marriage" will damage children. In the case of child or spousal abuse, severe drug and alcohol addiction, I would agree with you. But these are extreme situations, and the vast majority of marital problems are NOT this severe.

I found this interesting, while looking into this topic:

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So, honor your Oaths. Protect your Wyrd. Preserve your Luck. Pass good Orlog onto your children. If you find yourself having marital problems, tackle the challenge like heathens tackle any challenge...intelligently, fearlessly, generously, honorably, and with lots of hard work.

Doing so, will benefit you...your famiily...and your tribe.

Mark

There are whole books on group dynamics, how to structure a group, decision-making, etc. But, I wanted to address a particular style of decision-making and leadership in a heathen context.

LOYALTY, COLLECTIVE LUCK, AND TRIBES

We've discussed in the past, how much one determined heathen can accomplish, if he is willing to stay focused, work hard, and make things happen. One heathen can spark the formation of a kindred. One heathen can gather together a heathen community. Teach a class on Asatru. Write books. Set an example. Shape the world, essentially.

And that is just one determined heathen.

If you have two heathens, who like each other, trust each other, and are completely willing to work together and show absolute loyalty to each other, this absolutely becomes more than the sum of their two parts of the equation. Two heathens willing to face anything together, can accomplish almost anything. They drive each other forward. They inspire each other. They offer each other support in all things, and it multiplies the effect of them imposing their Will upon the world.

Two loyal heathens mingle and share Wyrd. They begin to build collective Orlog...and collective Luck. And it improves what they can accomplish together...and even individually in their own lives.

Imagine the power of having three heathens...four heathens...eight heathens...bound together by heartfelt oaths. Completely loyal to one another. Combining and multiplying their Luck, through working together and supporting each other in all things. Willing to brainstorm together, work together, and work towards a collective goal or goals. Imagine what that sort of group can accomplish.

This is why Jotun's Bane Kindred believes that local kindreds and tribes are the future of heathenry.

Not heathen "clubs," meeting in basements one a month, where the people never really know full loyalty or bonds to one another.

Not heathen e-lists, where the people know each other as "pixels on a screen," and they constantly bicker over small details and never truly know each other.

Not National Organizations, where people pay $25 a year for a membership card, and there are only occasional gatherings attended by a small percentage of the membership.

The future of heathenry rests on the success of small oathed tribes and communities...essentially chosen extended familes, where the best interests of family and community come before all else.

DECISION-MAKING WITHIN A TRIBE

There are various forms of decision-making within a group, or in our case a tribe:

OPTION 1 - A group could have one or two strong members that make most of the decisions, and then the rest of the tribe is meant to follow the course of action set by the one or two assertive members. This form of decision-making has its strengths. It can be fairly focused, organized, and decision-making is normally very quick. After all, there is not much discussion needed in this form of decision-making. One or two people make a decision, let the other members of the group know about it, and the decision-making is done.

But there are great flaws to this form of decision-making. Since there is very little in the form of discussions or input, you do not draw on the knowledge, ideas, and intelligence of all the members of the group. The largest problem with this form of decision-making, is that those not in on the decision-making (everyone except the one or two strong decision-makers) have no investment in the decisions being made. They may or may not agree with those decisions. This leads to members of the group not fully agreeing with or supporting the decisions being made, and this can lead to rebellion or dissatisfaction within the group. At the very least, it diminishes the impact of having a group of heathens working together towards something in which they all believe.

OPTION 2 - Another form of decision-making, is compromise and majority rule. Essentially, this form of decision-making involves discussion of decisions to be made, and when there are disagreements, members of the group attempt to reach a compromise position that a majority of the group will support. This form of decision-making, does at least involve every member of the group in discussions of the decisions to be made. It is not quite as fast as Option #1, because of this. And, at least this form of decision making does result in a course of action that a majority of the group will support.

But there are flaws here as well. At times, in order to build majority support for a decision, compromise is used as a tool. If there are 3 minority positions, 2 of those positions may join their ideas in order to impose a majority over the remaining minority. This can lead to a decision, that literally NO ONE in the group fully supports. And one of the major flaws with this form of decision-making, is the fact that there is almost always a minority of people in the group that end up having little or no input in the course of action decided upon. This can also lead to rebellion or dissatisfaction within the group. And this option can also diminish the impact of having a group of heathens working together towards something in which they all believe.

OPTION 3 - A third form of decision-making, and one that Jotun's Bane Kindred follows, is decision-making by consensus. Essentially, before a decision is made on an important matter, everyone in the group must support that decision. Every single member of the group.

This can take time. It can take a lot of patience and long discussions. But the benefit of this form of decision-making, is that once a decision has been made...every single member of the group has had input into the decision, and every single member of the group supports the course of action that has been decided upon. In addition, the decisions are naturally better...because they include the vision, ideas, knowledge, and intelligence of all of the groups members. The act of reaching consensus within a group, forces everyone to examine and test their own ideas...and to reconsider them in light of what other group members are bringing to the table.

This is an incredibly strong form of decision-making, and it fully supports the impact of having a group of heathens working together towards something in which they all believe.

LEADERSHIP BY CONSENSUS

There are different kinds of leaders, and there are many tools that a leader can use to exercise his leadership. But I believe the most successful leaders lead by consensus. A successful leader is a consensus-builder among his people.

A leader could dictate decisions (Option #1), but this has all the flaws mentioned under this form of decision-making. A leader could push for compromise and build majorities (Option #2), but this has all the flaws mentioned under this form of decision-making. But if a leader knows his group well, is able to listen to them, and help them combine their collective ideas, knowledge, insights, and intelligence into a consensus that all within the group can support...then that leader will have a very successful group.

Some see leadership as exercising "power," or in commanding men to do their bidding. But this can only take a leader and his group so far. And at some point, he is likely to face dissatisfaction and rebellion among portions of this group. But leadership by command and through the use of "power" should be reserved for times of dire need, when a decision is needed immediately. There is a place and time for this sort of exercise of "power" by a leader, but even in those cases...the leader should know his group well enough to make a decision that is both in the best interests of his group, and that will be supported by his people.

Over time, the relationship between a leader and his people develops into a relationship of mutual trust. The leader knows the consensus of the group, without necessarily even needing to consult with them. This is especially try of day-to-day decisions...minor decisions...or decisions that are similar to decisions the group has made in the past.

But on important issues...ones with a long-lasting impact on the direction of the group, the group's resources, or what the group will be working towards in the future...consensus building is the strongest form of leadership.

Again, some may see leadership by consensus as a sign of weakness, or a lack of leadership. But those that feel this way, fail to understand that there is absolutely no lack of leadership in this model. If decisions need to be made on the spot, the leader will make those decisions...and make them well. But whenever possible, a good leader-by-consensus anticipates problems and upcoming decisions, and builds consensus on these problems and decisions prior to them becoming "emergency" decisions.

Leadership by consensus-building, also reflects the reciprocal relationship between a leader and his people. A leader without people, is not a leader. And a people without a leader, can accomplish very little. They are both important parts of any successful group.

EGIL'S SAGA

I recently read Egil's Saga, and I was surprised by the number of times that very strong leaders were described going to their men, and building a consensus among them for a certain course of action. Prior to raids, before supporting someone in a war, etc...leaders within Egil's Saga are described going to their men, proposing the course of action, explaining the hardships, promising rewards, and then moving forward with the consensus of their men.

The idea of leadership by consensus-building, is not some new-age, psycho-babble method of leadership. When consensus-building is possible, it is an age-old form of leadership that works. And in Egil's Saga, it is most often used when a leader is wanting to take his men on a raid or mission that they might not normally be expected to perform. By building that consensus, the heathen leader is able to accomplish extraordinary things...with the full support of his men.

THINKING IN A TRIBAL FASHION

I think we still have a lot to learn and discover about existing as a tribe. We're working hard on this, and we'll have much to say about it in the future.

Suffice it to say, that a loose group of individuals, with their own selfish interests in mind, will have difficulty working within a consensus model of decision-making or leadership. When egos rule, and people are looking out for themselves, rather than the the tribe...they fail to see the value of reaching consensus. They want to "win the argument," rather than finding an answer better than any one individual's approach to the decision.

If we are to build successful tribes, and benefit from the incredible power of collective Orlog and combined Luck, then we need to rediscover our tribal ways...and put them to work in our modern world.

Mark

Jotun's Bane Kindred has been forming plans to build a Hof for many months now, but we've talked about it very little publically. We wanted to be more sure of our plans, before we began discussing them publically.

Some people take the "Hof=Church" idea too far, in my mind. They want their own heathen church building, somewhere on a street corner or in the suburbs. They want a "congregation" of heathens to come to the Hof, "tithe" to the church, etc. Jotun's Bane Kindred's Hof will not be a Christian Church with a big hammer on the front of it.

Our Hof will have land. Land to grow food and land to eventually keep livestock/animals. Land that kindred members will have the opportunity to move onto...and live in closer proximity to each other. This will support and reinforce our current tribal structure, and take it further along the road we wish to travel.

Our Hof building will have a Hall, as well as a Hof. It will also serve as a cultural center, where we will offer classes on heathen, traditional crafts, etc. We will also likely run a small business out of our Hof-building, though that has not been fully discussed.

We're following a tribal model, and we wish to live more like a tribe. We won't be withdrawing from the world, or abandoning all technology, or living in some sort of commune-experiment. Our goal is to establish a place where our Kindred can live. A place that heathens in our area and in the region can gather. A place that fulfills the goals of our kindred.

Making this happen, is going to be a lot of work. When it happens, it will have been worth the work.

My thought on Hofs is simple. Thirty years of Asatru in the United States, and where are we at? Kansas City is 2,000,000 people when you include everyone on the outskirts. In June 2007 when I dedicated myself to our gods, I could not find another heathen in Kansas City. And believe me I looked. It took me two months to eventually find Rod, and from there we grew. Thirty years of heathenry, and where are our tribes? Where are our Hofs?

A California AFA member was telling me that a Sufi cultural center was built in his city. The Sufi's moved there, they picked a spot, they all moved to homes within blocks of that spot, they all worked their butts off and saved and pooled their money, and within 5 years they had built a large Sufi cultural center, a place of worship, and a school for their children. And that's with California land and building prices!

Thirty years of heathenry, and where are our Hofs? If Sufi's can move into neighborhood, and make this happen...then what stands in our way? I think we tend to stand in our way.

Jotun's Bane Kindred seeks to create something long-lasting, sustainable, useful, and something that meets our needs and goals as a tribe. This post is more about our Hof plans than we have posted anywhere. And I hope it shines some light on why we are willing to dedicate so much of our time, energy, and money towards this goal.

If other heathens have different goals, that's up to them. That's their tribe...and they should do what they want. I'm just expressing what Jotun's Bane Kindred wants, and the form it will take.

Mark

Today, March 18th is my Dad's Birthday. He was born during the Depression. His father was a professional musician, and left the family when my dad was very young. This left his mother to raise the six kids by herself, during the worst economic conditions our nation has seen.

All the kids took jobs, as soon as they were old enough to get a job. Which was pretty young back then. Dad volunteered for the Navy during WW2, and then volunteered for Submarine Service. If I'm remembering correctly, a 1/3 of the Submariners were lost at sea...and my dad was among the lucky 2/3 that returned.

He worked hard. Over the years he was a successful business owner, corporate executive, salesman, self-employed entrepreneur, and started several successful businesses. He was born into poverty, but he was not satisfied with that. Never satisfied with that.

He raised three children with his first wife, but she died a slow death of lung cancer when some of the kids were still fairly young. He started over, and married my mother...and when he was 43 years old, I was born...and 4 years later, my brother.

My dad took good care of our family. He was always involved with us in baseball, boy scouts, and he always had the right advice for any situation. He set an excellent example of what it was to be a man, and he had high expectations for his children.

In every business or organization he was involved with, he was a leader and an innovator. He was a member of mensa, and extremely intelligent. He never turned away from necessary confrontation, and he relished a just fight. He was someone, that everyone he knew went to for advice. When someone he cared about was in need, he was the first one there to help...and stayed until the problem was solved.

Dad liked a big glass of whiskey over ice, with a splash of coke in it. He knew a 1000 dirty jokes, and his timing when telling a joke or a story was spot-on every time. He enjoyed cooking on the grill, and actually taught my mother how to cook (she was 19 years younger than him when they married). He liked war movies, and the history channel.

Dad made furniture with his own hands. He was an excellent wood-carver. He was an amazing dancer. He was naturally talented at drawing, playing pool, and golfing. He could fix almost anything.

I was the first Stinson to graduate from College, and that was the fulfillment of a dream for him. He was disappointed when I left Law School, but I have never seen him prouder than when I graduated from the Police Academy. He bragged on me often, to almost everyone he spoke with...whether they wanted to hear about it or not. "My son, the cop." He was the Best Man at my wedding.

He had heart problems for years, and fought them with dignity and determination, trying to get every quality moment he could out of life. He feared that old age would make him helpless, or a burden...and I can only imagine he was happy to die on his feet, out of the hospital, still living a life that was his own.

Dad was the person that friends and family always turned to for eulogies at funerals. He was an excellent speaker, and he believed that everyone deserved a proper eulogy, as a send off and a closure to the life they lived. His eulogies made people remember, made them laugh, made them cry. I had the honor of giving my father's eulogy at his funeral...and I did my best to live up to his standard.

He was the most important person in forming and influencing who I am today. He taught me everything I know about being a man. And he has inspired numerous posts by me on this message board:

Sea Stories by Glen Stinson

Elizabeth Getting to Know Her Grandfather

Fearing a Straw Death

Dreams of our Ancestors

Why Society is Decaying - Wisdom from my Father

Glen Stinson was a war veteran, an amazing father, a leader, a successful businessman, a man of principle, and an ancestor that I feel present with my children almost constantly.

I know, that in the Hall of my Ancestors Dad is sitting at the head of the table. He has a big tumbler full of ice and whiskey (with a splash of coke "for color"). And there are many ancestors gathered around him, listening to his stories and laughing at his jokes until their eyes water. And someday, I will see join him there, and we will have a lot to talk about.

Happy Birthday, Dad. You are immensely missed.

Mark Stinson

We've talked about this topic a lot lately within our Kindred. I thought I'd share a little of it.

Many local heathen groups are basically clubs. We jokingly refer to this phenomenon as "5 guys meeting in somebody's basement." They gather once or twice a month...at one of their homes. They like the gods, and honor them. And they mention their ancestors. And that's about the extent of it.

In the "club" model, they gather for awhile. They really get nowhere. Their families aren't really involved. The guys sort of like each other, but really...heathenry is the thing they most have in common. Their friends and coworkers may not even know they are heathen. After awhile, some of them wander off...or get pissed off about something, and the club stops meeting.

That is not the future of heathenry. Or better put, the "club" model does not provide heathenry with a future.

A Kindred should be a tribe. It should be families gathering together. Spouses, children, men, and women...coming together as an extended family. Caring for each other, looking out for each other's interests, coming to each other's aid. Deep friendship/kinship should develop between the members. The children should come to see the other children as brothers and sisters they see each other so much.

Someone moves, everyone shows up and helps. A deck needs building, everyone shows up and helps. A parent is sick, another family should offer to take the kids for a bit. Someone needs a job, everyone keeps their eye out for one and actively helps them find one. Members of the kindred should be talking almost every day. They should know what's going on in each other's lives. They should be the people we turn to when we want to laugh, or cry, or exciting news to tell.

And a Kindred should have goals. They should be actively working to grow a heathen community, both within the tribe, and around the tribe. They should be pooling money, with a goal to buy land and establish a Hof. They should be getting to know the heathens in neighboring communities, through modern communications...and by visiting them face-to-face. The Kindred should be working to leave their children with a more stable and developed heathenry, than we currently have.

A Kindred should be a tribe...not a club. A "chosen" family, that we see and treat as family.

Given a choice between "5 guys meeting in a basement," and a growing, involved, dedicate, goal-oriented tribe...there really is no choice. I'll take the tribal model.

Now some will say, but we don't have a tribe in our area. Or they'll say, there aren't enough interested heathens in my area. Well, there's no excuse for accepting that condition as the status quo. One should work for it, and never give up. Look for other heathens in every way possible. Offer heathen workshops. Talk to your friends and family about your beliefs. Accept nothing less, than working towards forming and growing a heathen tribe...and
establishing a Hof and Hof-land in your area.

It won't happen overnight, but nothing worthwhile happens overnight.

Mark

One of many many reasons I am heathen...

What is more important than our children? And yet, you have these children out there that are completely ignored by their parents. The kids grow up alienated, alone, and with no guidance. Some of them become frustrated and self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. Some build bombs and stockpile guns in their own homes, without their parents even noticing...a school shooting or other murder spree just on the horizon.

Its a sign of our decaying culture that parents have abandoned their own children. Yes, they clothe them and feed them, but emotionally...they withhold time and attention, to pursue their own selfish goals, or entertainment.

We should share what's important to us with our children. We should go to parent teacher conferences, ask our children how school went everyday, help with school parties if we can, or volunteer in their classroom. We should take them to museums, and historical locations, sporting events, fairs and learning opportunities. We should share our faith with them, and teach them heathen beliefs and heathen values. We should hug them, and kiss them, and cuddle up with them to watch television now and again. We should take them to heathen events and heathen gatherings.

A house can burn down. We can lose our job. People can betray us. We can wreck a car, or suffer an injury. We can survive all that pretty well. But our children are the most important things in our lives. They are our legacy. They are the future of our Folk. Heathenry is the answer to the widespread emotional abandonment of children within our failing culture.

Mark

http://www.salina.com/obituaries/story/rittigers020809

Bernard E. Rittgers (or "Bernie") was my wife Jennifer's grandfather (on her father's side), and the Great-Grandfather to my children.

He was a good man, who worked hard and supported his family his whole life. He smiled all the time. Things going well...smiling. Things a little stressful...smiling. Something going wrong...smiling.

He told great jokes, usually a little off-color. Not so off-color that they were dirty...just off-color enough that you would call it mischievious. The link above is to his obituary. He died Feb 6, 2009...and his funeral was today. We traveled with the kids to Salina, KS to attend.

Jennifer was riding in a car with him one day, and he waved at a guy. Jennifer asked, "Do you know him." And he said, "Nope...just waving." He was that sort of guy.

Here is the text of his obituary...

Quote:

He was a veteran of WW2, and while he had a great-run here on Midgard (88 years), he will be missed by his family and friends.

Mark

There is a term for a Republican politician, who holds very few Conservative points-of-view. They are sometimes called RINO's (Republican in Name Only). And almost always, they are called this as an insult.

The other day, I used the term HINO on our website's message board. Heathen in Name Only. And, I've had some time to think about it...and thought I should better define the term.

First, let me say...I don't see the term as having anything to do with Folkish or Universalist positions. I'm Folkish, but I'm not one of those heathens that says that heathens that hold different points-of-view than I do, are somehow "not heathen." Our ancestors held many different points-of-view about life and how to honor the gods, their ancestors, and the Vaettir. Its not up to me to declare someone loyal to our gods and their ancestors, "not heathen." Unless they are doing something truly against heathen values or ways.

A Heathen in Name Only, does very little but call him/herself a "heathen." They seem to like the sound of the name, or the "idea" of being heathen. But when it comes to practicing our way of life, learning more about it, or gathering with other heathens...they do nothing. They literally do nothing that is heathen, except they call themselves "heathen."

PRACTICING OUR WAY OF LIFE

A HINO does not live by the NNV, or by other heathen values. They forget we are our deeds, and their heathenry takes the form of words only. They forget that when you injure or hurt someone else, you must fix it or pay for it...and instead they are constantly apologizing for bad behavior (and then repeating it). They don't understand the heathen view of Wyrd and those you associate with. They don't understand the heathen view of gifts.

A HINO says they are loyal to our gods, but they rarely honor them or gift them. They say they respect and honor their ancestors, but they never take actions to show that respect. They think very little of the Vaettir, and do nothing to connect with them and form relationships with them. They do not symbel. They do not blot. They do not gift their gods, ancestors, or the Vaettir.

A HINO is worried about teaching heathenry to their children. They are all over the internet calling themselves "heathen," but almost no one that knows them in real life knows they are heathen...regardless of how long they have claimed to be "heathen."

LEARNING AND READING

A HINO says he/she is "heathen," but many of them have never read the Poetic and Prose Eddas. Even if they have, they read very little beyond it. Some HINO's read nothing about heathenry, and know very little about heathenry, but they've read many Rune books...and that seems to be the only part of our religion or way of life that they actively pursue.

When a HINO is confronted with a heathen topic they have not learned about yet, they fake their way through it or change the subject. They cling to their ignorance and misconceptions, because it is more comfortable than reaching out and making the effort to learn more.

GATHERING WITH OTHER HEATHENS

There are people, living mostly in rural areas of our country, with no heathens within hours and hours of them. And I understand why these heathens do not or cannot gather regularly with other heathens. But I know good heathens who live in rural areas, who have reached out through National Organizations or e-lists, and found heathens within 3 or 4 hours of them...and they do travel to visit them. A HINO would never do that.

A HINO will have a Kindred within 15 minutes of him/her, but the HINO never goes to Open Events. They never make an effort to get off their couch and take a chance meeting other heathens. They gather with heathens on-line only, and never make the effort to make face-to-face connections and experience heathenry away from their computer.

EXAMPLES IN MIND

I have had some frustrating experiences with people I think qualify as HINO's. Over the first year of our Kindred-efforts in Kansas City, I had at least 5 different people e-mail me, saying basically, "I am so thrilled to find other heathens in Kansas City...this is a fulfillment of a dream for me. I cannot wait to meet you all, and become involved. This has changed my life finding that their is a new Kindred in my area!"

I am not exagerating the tone of their messages to me. Then I never get to meet them. I never hear from them again. I've emailed them back, and they either make excuses for not showing up or don't email back! They just disappear off the face of the earth, without ever having wandered outside of their house.

Beyond these 5, there have been at least 20 more "heathens" in our area, who have joined our Meetup or our message board, expressing their great interest in committing themselves more fully to heathenry, and then they never make a move. They never show up. They also, just disappear without ever having shown up.

Now, I know life is busy. Do you think my life isn't busy? LOL. I have a full-time job, a 2nd off-duty job for extra money, a wife, three-kids, and I am very active in activities and hobbies away from heathenry. Coming to one event...one 2 or 3 hour event...is not going to crush anyone's schedule. Its just not. That excuse does not work with me.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Now, if you read this post, and you recognize yourself in some of these words...know that I was not speaking about YOU specifically. But, if you do recognize yourself in some of these words, you have a choice:

1. You can get really mad and defensive that I would write such a post. "How dare he say this!" You can justify why you are sort of in HINO mode, and decide that I'm a mean jerk who doesn't know what he's talking about...or that "he doesn't understand my situation."

or

2. You can start practicing what you preach. Honor and gift your gods, your ancestors, and the Vaettir. Read and learn as much as you can about your chosen way of life. Look for heathens in your area (even if its only one other heathen...or even if you have to drive a few hours), and gather with them now and again.

What you do, is up to you. If you choose to get mad and defensive, more power to you. I have big shoulders...I'm sure I'll survive your anger. If you choose to pursue heathenry more seriously, then, really...you will be the one to benefit.



Mark